Why haven't I realized this???

I look at you and I see a little boy...and I am just scared...scared because I don't remember when you became a little boy! You were just a baby, really! You were my happy, content baby that gave me endless snuggles. What happened?? I woke up and here you are...time has flown in light speed, esp after Caleb's birth!

I have been so focused on him being my last baby, I hadn't realized you were growing up so fast.

Tonight as I stare at your picture, there are tears in my eyes, half of me is so proud at the boy you have become. You are truely the most unselfish, well-behaved two year old I know, everyone tells me this too...your gentleness with your brother just swells my heart with so much pride. I love single thing about you.

The other half of me (ok maybe even a little more than that...) wishes I can turn back the time...you are no longer dependent on me...you don't need me to feed you (in the nursing way), diaper you, entertain you, read to you (even though you still like me to, thank God!), be your only friend, and be your voice...somehow this just breaks a little bit of my mommy heart. You see, the first two years of your life esp when it was just you and me, we were so close. You were my momma's boy, and I was yours (well you did have to share me with your Daddy too). Each day waking up to your sweet smiles and constant snuggles was a gift. Teaching you to walk, talk, and play gave me more enjoyment than I had never known...

I'm still not sure when this happened, all I know is that from today on, I will be paying close attention, hoping it doesn't happen again...(fat chance in that, huh?)